Looking to impress your friends with how much you spent on your divorce?  Maybe you’re loaded and looking for a fight?  An expensive divorce doesn’t have to be just for celebrities.

Tips – Expensive Divorce

Here are 15 tips for a really expensive divorce:

1. File for divorce without telling your spouse and then have him/her served at a time and place that will really rub them the wrong way.  This should get the fire started.

2.  Skip trying to work out a settlement with your spouse.  Adopt the view that your spouse will never agree to what you deserve and that he/she should pay and be punished.

3.  Skip divorce mediation.  It’s inexpensive and the mediator won’t bend your spouse to your will.

4.  Even though you have no real intention to compromise, give the “collaborative divorce” process a whirl.  You’ll get to pay for a whole team of professionals trying to assist you, including an attorney for each spouse.  When the process fails to reach a settlement, the rules say your attorney can’t continue to act on your behalf.

5.  So hire a new one.  Find an attorney of the “mad dog” variety – one who will fight hard to get you “all you deserve.”

6.  When the attorney warns you not to talk to your spouse and to let him/her handle everything, salute and comply.

7.  Watch as your attorney files discovery motions in court to get your spouse to provide all sorts of information and documentation – even if your spouse would have willingly provided it.

8.  Find reasons to hire and involve top-dollar outside professionals, such as forensic accountants, psychologists, and valuation experts.

9.  Ensure your attorney vigorously contests any motion filed by your spouse – even the reasonable ones.

10.  If there are interim motions your attorney can file to try to get the judge to order favorable support or more time with the kids (or even just to annoy your spouse and run up his/her legal bills), go for it.

11.  Have your attorney personally do everything on your case including prepare all your court paperwork. No need to skimp with a paralegal or other assistant.  Also make sure your attorney knows you want him/her to prepare really thoroughly for every event.

12.  The judge will expect you to have a settlement conference before granting you a trial.  Act willing but don’t compromise enough to reach a settlement at the conference.

13.  You’re probably about two years into it but now at last is your trial.  If you’ve succeeded up to now in not settling anything because it wasn’t good enough for you, the judge will have to decide everything.  This maximizes the length of your trial.  And time here really is money!

14.  When your trial is complete, you’re divorced.  You’ve probably spent more than a hundred thousand dollars.  It’s very likely though that some of the things the judge decided didn’t go at all your way.  Strategize with your attorney on what legal moves you can make next.

15.  Better yet, fire this attorney for not getting you everything you deserved and hire a new one.  Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean you can’t appeal aspects of the judge’s decision or file post-trial motions to try to get things modified in your favor.